In a previous post I thought this past superbowl sunday would prove to be a real test of my will power. Well, If that weekend was any indication, I need some more will power...bucket loads.

I fell of the wagon with a zest normally reserved for children and candy. My diet fell to the way side like a rock in Lake Holder-closer. It was a display the likes I had not given in a quite some time. It all started on Saturday. First thing in the morning I did great - no problems, then somehow between lunch and dinner It all came falling down. I agreed to dine with my family at a local "hot wings" spot. Mistake number one, right there. I then start the night off with a beer and ka-plow, we're off the the races!

I had a tray of 50 wings sat in front of me and I layed into them like a boulder crushing a straw house! I did have help with them, but I still ended up with an impressive bone yard on my plate after dinner had concluded. Then, after one last beer I headed home only to break into my wife's chocolate stash like hungry dog tearing into a steak. Oh, the horror, the humanity of it all. I will admit this - It tasted so damn good and the same time I felt guilty that I so easily threw my reclamation project to the side. The night cap was  a few remaining chocolate kisses. Finally, saturday's carnage was over...only to give way to sunday's blood bath.

I not only fell of the wagon, I jumped off and ran the other direction. Get this - morning coffee followed by countless mini-donuts. Then lunch came around and I decided to empty my cupboard off all the pretzels and chips I could find. Thinking, Aw shucks It's just a little cheating, I gulped down a turkey sandwich that a king could be proud of. Whew! When will this display end?

The night of the big game I helped cooked dinner at the inlaws house - home made tacos, dip, rice, chips, seven layer dips, guacomole, pepsi and salsa! I showed no mercy and I slayed my plate time and time again. Then came the biggie! Chocolate cake and more chocolate cake. I don't think I'll ever know just how many calories died so I could eat like Jabba-the-Hut. And now, the monday after - what's a guy to do? Yeah, I ate all that, so what?

I'll tell you what, it's time to put on my jogging shoes again and catch-up to the wagon and jump aboard and stay put. I just need to start back up like last weekend never happened. I have not dared step on the scale for fear of what the damage might be, so let's just say I'll be working extra hard at the gym this week and next week and so on and so forth.

I've got my work cut out for me, all the while looking back on this past weekend with a fondess only a professional eater could appreciate.      ( Belch! )

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I just flew in from the gym and boy are my arms tired. ( rim-shot ) But seriously I just got back from the gym. Today my weight-training began and now afterwards I can tell..." Lump, it's been awhile "  Oh sure, I start off thinking this is too light- tack some more weight on there let's make this a challenge...  and pow! The burn starts and I begin thinking " Oh crap, take the weight off, take the weight off " No one takes the weight off. I suffer through it. I man up!

The Professional that's working with me says my muscles will remember the weight training I once did a few years ago and they will respond after a few work outs. A few!! how about now - so I don't kill my arms and legs pushing and pulling all this weight. Again, no one hears my plea.

I suppose it's all part of getting back in shape. And yes, despite the sore limbs I will press on towards the goal. This is only the first few steps. So long as I keep moving forward I will eventually need a license to carry the guns to work. ( rim-shot )

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It's been 7 days and I'm not dead, so I must have survived the first week back at the gym. Easing into the routine has been easier than I thought it might. Staying away from the "junk" food hasn't been too tough, however, I think I heard a cheeseburger call my name yesterday. I didn't answer the call, but It was tempting. Okay, so I'm eating right - check! I'm doing the cardio - check! All that's left is to start up the weight training. afterall what's the point of losing all this weight If I can't give people two tickets to the gun show, right?         Thanks Ron Burgundy

So far I'm down 20lbs, but still over 3 bills large. I only need 9lbs more to break the mark and step into the 200 arena. My short term goal is to be there before Valentines Day. Again, like all things in this world, we'll just have to see about that. My next big food test will be this sunday for the Super Bowl. So many ways to break a diet, hmmm...can one man resist so much temptation? I'll tell you next week.

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 It's probably been a good 18 months since I entered a gym with any sort of determination. Today that streak ended. For whatever reason, I was nervous going into it - call it last minute jitters. I suppose in the back of my mind somewhere I was questioning my resolve. That passed about 5 steps into the gym once I got a whiff of the vibe inside. Yeah "I'm ready for this" I thought.

As I began to near the cardio equipment  I layed eyes on one of the most insidious pieces of machinery ever devised. It's only purpose,  weightloss through bodily torture. Countless people have been devoured in sweat on it's seat, leaving them physically spent and emotionless. I was face to face with, The Beast!

A cardio bike I was all too familiar with from years past. Just look at it!

It's operation is simple. sit down, strap your feet in the pedals, then choose the amount of resistance you want for both the swinging arms and pedals. And your off to work. Oh sure it seems innocent enough just sitting there, but trust me...this puppy wants your total submission. Anything less and you might as well crawl over to the treadmills. And I'm about to ride this damn thing!

I enter the lockeroom, put away my things and strap on my iPod. I walk out passing a scale and think...nahh, I'll weigh later this week. Then like a professional bull rider about to mount his animal I adjust the seat to my liking and I enter the dragon's lair. I figure I'll go easy on myself, setting it for 30 minutes. After all this my first time back in a while. With one shove of the right foot I was off. I'll spare you the gory details of the next thirty minutes spent on that machine. When my tour of duty was finished I stood up and someone kept spinning the gym around, dazed and disoriented I walked away with a new found respect for just how out of shape I really am.

But here's the thing, Like a idiot who knows no better, I'll be back again tomorrow to ride this chariot from hell. But until then, when my wife asks how it went at the gym, I'll pretend I'm not sore.

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On a day that saw inspiring history made for our country, and moments after the swearing in of President Obama. I too took an Oath. I was sworn in as the newest member of Crosstrainers Gym in Yukon. My Oath was simple, to the best of my ability ( and my wallet ) pay my bill every month. I will follow through with that promise. No worries there. Yep, it's time to reacquaint myself with...( dramatic tension builds )   " The Beast ".

 more on that later...

The country has profound hope as a new leader takes the wheel, and I have seen where I will be spending a whole lot more of my time. It's a reunion of sorts for me, this was the gym I belonged to during my first reclamation back in 2005. This will also be the backdrop for my newest incarnation. The dawn of a new me is at hand, I have given up junk food and spending time in the drive-thru lane at my local burger chain. Ya know what? It feels pretty good so far.

The easy part is done, all that's left is to make good on my promise to "Finish"  what I've started. There's only one thing giving me pause...one thing that's making me wonder about what I've done. The dreaded first day back at the gym. On that day we'll see if this dog's bite is as good as his bark...anybody got a leash?

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Just about time to enact the "Lump reclamation project" . After letting my big mouth loose on the Sports Animal dot com and on the air to lose weight and reach 215lbs, I have been making ready my comeback.

I like to think of it as a Samurai assembling his weapons before battle. With the obvious exception of intent to spill blood, I'm doing just that. I've bought the Gym clothes, ( No spandex...ever! ), arranged a music mix on my iPod, re-read some issues of Men's Health magazine, spent some time visualizing my goal and  finally settled on the Gym I will attend. Which for me, is a important decision. Among the important factors is "vibe", it needs to have that certain quality that psychs me out every time walk in the door.

I've also spent the last week easing my way back into a good diet. I figured If I went cold turkey from the junk I'd slip more at the start. That includes my last chance dinner, like a death row imate choosing his last meal, I'm looking forward to one last splurge before "eating clean".

This whole process should prove to be invigorating, All that's left is a mission statement of sorts, some sort of verbage that inspires me every time I read it. Yes, I know it sounds corny, but hey, that's how I work. I have found a few but haven't pulled the trigger on one yet. I'll of course, let you know when I do..right here on the Sports Animal dot com.

Until then, be on the look out for my regular updates as I bring you inside my locker room before, during and after the workout!

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Okay, so were well into the new year and everyone has all but given up the resolution they made at the start. Why, I wonder? I think it's tradition. Your supposed to make one and then after you try it out it's fashionable to give it up and go back to your "old-self" Well folks I can tell you my "old-self" is nothing to write home about. Now the new me, the me I resolve to become in 2009, now that's something to talk about! Aside from resolving to become a better person, a better worker, a better parent and spouse. I figure I'll up the ante a little bit and make the mother of all resolutions, the one nearly everyone makes. yes, I resolve to loose weight.

There, I said it! It's finally off the planning table and out there for the world to read. I Lump, do solemnly swear that as sure as I now tip the scale in excess of 300 lbs, that I will , to the best of my ability, shed the weight off in 2009. A Reclamation of my former self shall be established. Despite what my mirror says, there are pictures of me just 3 years ago when I was a trim, lean 215lbs. Just think about it...a smaller Lump and more room for everybody else in the elevator.

So why tell you what I'm doing? Simple, I'm going to use my blog to chronicle my journey from flab to fit. I will hold myself accountable to you, the listener, to do what I've set out to accomplish. Will I reach my goal of 215lbs? who knows but It'll be all out in the open for people to discuss. let's see if I can win one for the Gipper!

p.s. This mean I'll be going back to the gym...anybody have a suggestion?

By now you no doubt are aware that Sam Bradford became the 5th Heisman Trophy winner in OU history. Your also aware of the Behavior of former sooner Billy Sims. His overpowering enthusiasm for yelling "Boomer" was on annoying display Saturday night in New York.

Not only was it a distraction from a moment that was Sam's, but it was a detraction from the Reputation of former Heisman trophy winners. In a moment that celebrates the best performance in sports it should also be a moment that showcases sportsmanship and respect. Both of which were lacking in Billy's behavior. The spotlight should be Sam's right now and sadly it's not. Simm's exuberance for a fellow sooner should have been limited to one nicely timed outburst...not ELEVEN.

Billy, your place in Sooner history is secure, but it's becoming more about your mouth than your running.

There I am, inserting my hard earned money into the soda machine expecting something in return. In this case, it's a orange pop and in this case I get the refeshment shaft! No pop - No drink - No Nada - Zilch - the Big Jack Squat. I'm irritated of course, that was my last dollar. I try to wiggle my product loose by pushing the machine back and forth. Nothing happens. I'm left thirtsy and alone, wanting more...

Just the same feeling I'm going to have Saturday when I turn on my TV and expect to watch College Gameday and then some games. Sorry Folks, the season as we know it is all over. I have faithfully given my dollar every week to watch my games, but no more.  

So, now what do I do? I actually have to FIND something to do or my wife will ( insert M.A.W.W. creedo here ).  Like my missing orange soda, college football has left me with a void to fill....atleast until bowl season. That's when I know it's really over! Who knows, maybe by then the thieving soda machine will be fixed and I'll get my dollar back? Doubtful.

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