It's probably been a good 18 months since I entered a gym with any sort of determination. Today that streak ended. For whatever reason, I was nervous going into it - call it last minute jitters. I suppose in the back of my mind somewhere I was questioning my resolve. That passed about 5 steps into the gym once I got a whiff of the vibe inside. Yeah "I'm ready for this" I thought.
As I began to near the cardio equipment I layed eyes on one of the most insidious pieces of machinery ever devised. It's only purpose, weightloss through bodily torture. Countless people have been devoured in sweat on it's seat, leaving them physically spent and emotionless. I was face to face with, The Beast!
A cardio bike I was all too familiar with from years past. Just look at it!
It's operation is simple. sit down, strap your feet in the pedals, then choose the amount of resistance you want for both the swinging arms and pedals. And your off to work. Oh sure it seems innocent enough just sitting there, but trust me...this puppy wants your total submission. Anything less and you might as well crawl over to the treadmills. And I'm about to ride this damn thing!
I enter the lockeroom, put away my things and strap on my iPod. I walk out passing a scale and think...nahh, I'll weigh later this week. Then like a professional bull rider about to mount his animal I adjust the seat to my liking and I enter the dragon's lair. I figure I'll go easy on myself, setting it for 30 minutes. After all this my first time back in a while. With one shove of the right foot I was off. I'll spare you the gory details of the next thirty minutes spent on that machine. When my tour of duty was finished I stood up and someone kept spinning the gym around, dazed and disoriented I walked away with a new found respect for just how out of shape I really am.
But here's the thing, Like a idiot who knows no better, I'll be back again tomorrow to ride this chariot from hell. But until then, when my wife asks how it went at the gym, I'll pretend I'm not sore.
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